What goes in your mouth long and hard, and comes out soft and sticky? A stick of bubblegum.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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whats worse than the black death. Bieber Fever

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Person1: Have you heard about the girraffe who doesn't eat Georgia peaches? Person2: yes. Person1: Oh, never mind then.

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whats worse then getting a bad present on your birthday? dying.

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What is big, round, hairy, black with a little bit of white and red stripes, large feet, small hands, squinty eyes and a purple beret? Nothing. How ridiculous.

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Q: What is the difference between a horny college girls and a horny high school girl? A: Usually, an age will seperate people in different grades. Also, what grade their in.

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what did the black guy say to the white guy im black

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Why did the chines were sunglasses? It was sunny.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are polemicists.

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Thats sweet, thank you then.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

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How do you get a one-armed kid down from a tree? Wave.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because i was on the other side and we were going to catch a movie

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How do you eat an Elephant? Elephant meat is most palatable after roasting in a 450 degree oven for 2 hours. Garnish with carrots and broccoli.

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How do u get an A on your test. U lock your teacher in the closet.

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Why did Jack take a prune out for the evening? A healthy snack as part of a balanced diet.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Pretty vague, if I did not know you, Id conclude you where working for some mob syndicate or something.

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A brown park bench was bought. After multiple years the color had faded, and the bench was no longer the same shade of brown.

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Sex

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What's the worst part about aids? Telling your wife and kids.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To avoid being killed in the slaughter house.

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Johnny fell out of the window. Except he didn't fall I pushed him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops