A priest, a pedophile and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a drink.

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If all ziggles are zaggles and all zaggles are zumbles, then why is your mother a whore?

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin get in the car.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Boo Boo Who? Boo Smith

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How many elephants can you fit in a mini? None. There are no affordable cars large enough to fit a fully grown elephant.

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Where's Wally? In a children's book.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Don't make jokes about the Holocaust. My grandfather died in the Holocaust. He fell off a watchtower.

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knock knock Goodbye

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Finding two worms. What's worse than finding two worms in your apple? Dying from cancer.

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Two straight men walk into a gay bar. They quickly realize their mistake and cross the street to the tavern where they enjoy a beer and some pretzels.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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Q. How can you tell if your arm is broken? A. Break it.

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What do you get when you cross Justin Bieber with a chicken? Most likely some kind of singing human-chicken monster, although given the little research done on cross-species splicing, this is a highly improbable circumstance.

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How do you fit a billion llamas into a box? you dont

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Knock Knock? Who's There? Sgt Constable Ian. Sgt Constable Ian Who? It's Sgt Constable Ian - I'm here to see you about your alleged rape charges.

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Why did the hispanic buy a pepsi? Because he was thirsty.

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An Irishman walked into a bar, except he would call it a pub, because there are slight differences in vocabulary in different regions, 37 minutes later he walked home safely, fed his cat, read some pages of a book he had been reading, turned the light off and went to bed.

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A man drinks a java while using Java His java was hot, making him spill on his laptop Blue screen of death

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The adventures of Helen Keller:

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Johnny fell out of the window. Except he didn't fall I pushed him

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Why did the wheel fall of the car?? Cause you can't fit 10 pancakes inside of a doghouse.

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Whats the difference between a dog and a bird? They both fly

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops