Say this to someone: On a scale from one to ten, what is your favorite color?

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Roses are red, bushes are red, trees are red....i set your garden on fire.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Doesn't matter get in the van.

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look im not better than you, your a ten im a two your a queen im a fool you got looks i got scares u got talent i got beuty to its a win win

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Do you know why I am excited? I don't know I'm asking you.

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Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

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why did the black man jump higher than the white man he was on a trampoline

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What did the Jew say when he walked into a bar? Ouch!

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what's worse than a dead baby in the bathtub? if the baby was named Grace.

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what is red and smells like paint red paint

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Whats worse than a suicide bomber? Hubcaps

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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EVERYONE NEEDS TO UNDERSTAND!! DYSLEXICS ARE TEOPLE POO!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We can never be truly sure of the chicken's real purpose, but given the circumstances of the surroundings, the story has it that the purpose of the chicken was to physically move to the other side of said road.

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why did the doctor go to jail? he was found guilty of the murder and rape of a 6 year old boy.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Tennis? Tennis who? Tennis Racket

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American: Hi im American Hispanic: Oh hey

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Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

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whats worse than drinking bad milk? tea bagging a bear trap

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I have read and agreed to the terms of service

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Which is better; having a billion dollars or a trillion dollars? Trick Question, you aren't that rich.

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If you know someone with the last name Schmidt. ALWAYS ask him to take a Schmidt on your chest

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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whats worst then antijokes? the holocaust

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops