What did the man say to his dead wife? "I'm Blind."

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what do michael Jackson and little boys do in the dark alone? they turn on the flashlight

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Did you know that many scientists will find out what happens after death within your lifetime? But not their lifetime...

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yada yada

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What did the woman find when she got home from the post office? Her son's corpse hanging from a clothes hanger. She was an abusive mom, and he killed himself.

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I took a shower yesterday. You have no idea how hard it was sneaking that thing out of Home Depot.

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Why did the little girl fall of the swingset. She got kidnapt and raped by a giant scorpion.

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How many pancakes do you need to reach a 2.5m roof? Purple, because aliens don't fly

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Why couldn't the hobo buy any clothes? They did not have his size available.

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What do you call a banana in a blender? A banana in a blender. Duh

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Why did the tornado cross the road? Because it's a tornado, that's what tornadoes do.

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Whats brown and sticky? A antelope.

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Q: What's the difference between between basketballs and babies? A: I don't shoot basketballs.

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So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

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A giant meteor will hit the earth tomorrow.What do you do? Tell everyone I told you so.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape his burning car wreck.

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Why can't you look at the sun? Because it's 2.00 AM

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How many Chinese people does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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mitchell palmer sucks

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how many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? 2 one to hold the latter and one to put it in

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Major League Soccer

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what's worst then having no internet access for a year? having no facebook notifications when you finally do

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John said: "This roller coaster makes me green." HIs mother replied: "That's because you have leprosy."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops