Why did little Suzy fall of the Swing? Someone threw a fridge at her.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Max

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roses are red, violets are blue. Some poems don't make sense, Salad.

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Q. What do you call a woman who, after 72 hours of hard labor, finally gives birth? A. Mom.

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What's big, green, has 4 legs, and if it falls out of a tree will kill you? A pool table

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Roses are red, violets are blue, Gee, I wish I could partake in even the first two lines of this stanza, but alas, I have colourblindness.

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What's dark, has an opening, and guys like to go in it. A cave

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Who has a higher pitched voice than the average man? A woman.

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why was 6 afraid of seven? cause 7's a n i g g a

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What scares little children and befriends their parents? A clown

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Did you know that all of the seasons are named after coils of metal? Except Winter... And Autum... And Summer...

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why did the other chicken cross the road peer pressure

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The blonde is in the park withb a rope a man passes and says what are u doing, she says im goin o hang and kill myself. the next day the man comes back and sees the blonde there alive he says i thought u were goin hang yourself she says i tried but i couldnt breathe.

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How do you kill somebody? A: I don't know, I'm not a murderer.

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What does the hulk do when he's angry? Compulsively masturbate.

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A Women is holding a piece of paper with her rights what is she holding a grocery list

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What's worse than having to listen a song from Justin Bieber? Being wrongfully convicted of child molestation,rape and murder and spending 50 years in prison before being acquited by DNA-analysis.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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I dont often wash my hands in the bathroom but when i do its so people dont think im gross.

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The baby started screaming in the dead of night. It woke up his mother, but his father did not be woken by it. why? Because the father left the mother some time ago, and emigrated to Australia with a new girlfriend, who is incidentially a model, and therefore he could not have heard hs child scream whilst on the other side of the world. His new girlfriend dosen't like him.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken. How do you get a baby to run faster? Chase it with the lawn mower. What do you get when you cut a baby with a straight razor? An erection. What do you get when you put a dead baby in a blender? Hold on. I'll tell you in a second. What's pink and spits? A baby in a frying pan. -S

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What did a Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I don't know, I don't speak Chinese.

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what do you call your mom? mom

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops