stephen hawking walks into a bar...

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Actually, 6's fear was totally irrational, and thus unexplainable. This sort of fear is generally referred to as a phobia.

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How do you fit 10 babies in a bowl? With a blender. How do you get them out of the bowl? You don't, you've already been arrested for multiple cases of infanticide.

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What do you call a person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk? A person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk.

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Q: What do you call a gay man in a... A: Keith.

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How do my feet smell? Oh wait. They can't. Feet are not sentient independent beings and therefore cannot experience the five senses, including smell.

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Did I tell you about when I hit a cat with my car? No, what happened? I hit a cat.

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What's the difference between a gluten free cereal and a regular cereal? One has gluten, and one has no gluten.

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Well no, thats not true, sorry, I mean I GET THAT ALL THE FUCKING TIME!

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Why do black people like watermelons so much? They don't. It's just a stereotype.

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A dog walks into a club. Just kidding I hit the dog with a club multiple times, killed it, and went to jail for the murder of an innocent animal.

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two peanuts were walking down the street one was assualted

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What is brown and sticky? A lot of things are brown and sticky

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Once upon time the government was corrupt Jk, it always has been

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Tom: Hey Fred. Do you wanna hear a joke? Fred: Sure Tom! (long pause) (10 Minutes Later) Fred: Tom, I thought you were gonna tell me a joke? Tom: I did, the joke is that there is no joke.

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing, you should call a local animal rescue number and care to its needs.

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What did the angry man with tourette syndrome say when he smashed his thumb with a hammer? Ouch.

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give me a thumbs up

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A magician was driving down the road and turned into a driveway...

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Why did the black man run from the officer? The officer was trying to perform non-voluntary sexual acts against him.

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What time is it Mr.Wolf? About half 5. Alright, thanks mate. How's the kids? Managing. Yeah. Yeah. Crazy world. Anyway, Got to be going. Yeah yeah. Say hi to the wife for me. Will do. Alright, Bye. See you later.

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Everyone is different, but there are two of me, therefore I am unique. I have 72 different personalities, which all think, act and behave the same, all have my same name, but its still different to have such a thing eh? No I am not asking, I just added that weird little lightbulb symbol after "eh". People buy my book, its full of this nonsense... Its named "Are you left winged, or wrong winged" The book that has nothing to do with politics, and everything to do with politicians non existent sexlife! (seriously I had a book signing today... It was weird, people like stood in line twenty Signatures... AND PEOPLE ARE ALL GOING "HEY ARE YOU THAT GUY FROM HORSEHEAD?" Nero -WHO THE FUCK! IS THAT GUY ON HORSEHEAD?

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A man and a cucumber walk into a bar. They sit three seats away from each other and intermediately give nervous looks to one another. Finally the man stands up and declares "I hate bar jokes" and walks out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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