Why didn't the boy answer the phone when it was ringing? Because he had no arms to pick it up.

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Who found Anne Frank? The Nazis

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what happened to the fish that got washed ashore? it died due to lack of water-borne air particles.

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Why did the President fall down? He was assassinated. -mattobrado

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Chris: Hey, want to hear a sad joke? Joe: No, those are mean and offensive.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

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Have you heard the one about the dead guy? Neither has he.

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Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

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Knock knock ... Guess they aren't home.

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Roses are red Roses are white and I one time saw a purple one

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whats green and has wheels? a green tractor.

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why was Lucy fat? Her BMI was over the recommended average.

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"Have you seen the food African kids eat?" "No.." "NEITHER HAVE THEY!!"

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Obesity runs in your family. To bad no one runs in your family.

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ms caissie is secretly laughing at these...

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Yo mamma is so skinny, she has developed anorexia, a serious eating disorder, which not only affects her, but also the ones that she loves and cares about.

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1,000 people get out of a plane , who hits the ground first? The DEAD guy!!!!

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A mute man writes a joke that would only be funny to blind people.

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What did the chocolate milk say? Yoo-hoo.

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What is worse than finding a real joke on Anti-joke.com? Starving children in Africa.

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About numbers, it was 180 mg of valium... And I am going to live becausepeople got there in time, my heart never stopped because luck, the doc was only making a joke about me "having ingested enough valium to die at least twice". Sanders, I just got your girlfriend to agree to a threesome, if my banana ever wakes up again, AND WHEN... Thou areth forgiven, btw I sent him a picture of Line`s unshaved vagina, and a note stating: U recognize this? Find out more on horsehead network! Meh His name is Anders something Chattington, yeah for all that know him, guess whose finger is on her unshaven... Yeah, maybe you should not have messed with a guy that can have ANYONE. Ps: Then its your mother, then your sister which is 17 (and pretty 16 is legal here so fuck you Chatty!) and then I SHALL STRIKE THY WITH THE VENGEANCE OF A THOUSAND SUNS! Because you are forgiven, which I cant even remember what means, I mean I know I am typing my experiences here, but thats only because I remember by muscle memory where the buttons are, said the doctor... I can still play Snes emulators... Not, because my numb fingers cant click anything and Line is gone. I TOUCHED HER ALREADY YA KNO! YOU SAW THE PIC, My skin is tan, and... well you know she is here... The best part? She is totally okay with you knowing, sayonara pal, id watch the "fluor" in your mothers pussy the next time you eat it!

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what you say to the kid that just hit puberty? your a young man

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Q: How many dwarfs does it take to change a light bulb? A: 1 or 2. One to change the light bulb and maybe another one to guards the staircase for the safety of the first one when the ceiling is too high (Wich happens almost every time because they are dwarfs.)

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Kid 1 Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken. Kid 2 Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys. Kid 1 You know what? I think you're right Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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