bite me

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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A: Where does a cow go on the weekends? B: To the mooooovies? A: No, to the slaughterhouse.

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I have a very serious problem with my narcolepsy. I occasionalolahdf;honainbirgnipqgierngiaqbhgpqruiph

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Why couldn't the child go to the park? He was a registered sex offender.

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Two scientists walk into a bar The first says “I’ll have some H2O.” The second says “I’ll have some H2O, too.” Both of them receive water because the bartender is not irresponsible enough to serve concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

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A man says to his wife, "Honey, sex just hasn't been the same lately." "That's probably because of my yeast infection," replies his wife.

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What did the Rabbi say when the Priest asked how his family was? The Rabbi breaks into tears as he explains his family was killed in the Holocaust.

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How many men does it take to change a light bulb? None, there is nothing wrong with the light bulb.

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Why was the man white? Because he wasn't black. All credit goes to Caravel.

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Chuck Norris shaves with his fists. That's why he still has a beard.

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why did the dog chase the cat? because the cat chased the dog first.

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Why did the Muslim cross the road? He was on fire and he needed to get to the lake on the other side of the street to put himself out.

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What do you call a Ku Klux Klan member who has been set on fire? Burnt Marshmallow.

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i know you talk the talk but can you talk the talk

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Hey girl, do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because I dropped one and I can't find it.

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Where did Susie go after the explosion? I don't know: she was nowhere near the explosion at the time that it happened. She probably got up to use the bathroom.

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no pen = no studying no studying = bad grades bad grades = no job no job = no money no money = no food no food = death DON'T LOSE YOUR PEN

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When an anvil and a feather are dropped off a building the anvil will hit the ground first because it's heavy

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why do midgets surf in kitchens? because of microwaves.

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what is worse than the holocaust. interracial relationship, cough..... oli

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There was a Jewish man and a German man why was it akward? Because one of them farted

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Q: Why did Jimmy not have balls? A: A terrible, terrible sand paper accident.

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What did Cinderella wear at the ball? Clothes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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