A man walked into a bar. He sat down, had a nice meal and went home relatively satisfied.

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Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

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A White, a Mexican, and a Chinese guy all take a boat to go exploring.

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What did the man say to the cat? Nothing. He doesn't have a cat.

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In the movie Sherlock holms, why is Sherlock Holms gay?? --------------Because he is chasing "blackwood"

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NO I AM NEROCHAN LEFT!

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But officer, I did come to a full stop!

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Whats worse than getting a parking ticket? The Bubonic Plague

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I forgot the rest, Don't laugh at me...

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How do you make a unicorn? Jab a stick through a pink horse and name it Liam

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Q. What do you call a dog thats deaf? A. A horribly abused domesticated animal that needs a kinder owner.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench. The bucket.

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One dog says to the other "I love going for walks!" A women over-hears, screams "A Talking Dog!", and calls the police. The dog is put down and dissected for scientific research.

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Two polar bears, oddly enough, are sitting in a bathtub. One of them asks "Could you pass the soap?" The other obliges and gives him the soap.

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what is the opposite of 2x +3x?

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What's worse than public speaking? Public masterbation. *Spelled it wrong purposly to bypass the filter*

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What did the man say when he walked into a bar? Nothing because he got knocked out because he was running too fast and hit his head.

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69

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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Whats green and smells like a red apple? A green apple

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whats in a red suit with a white beard and jolly......st.nick jerking of and blowwing a load in your stocking while taking a shit on you coffee table before theen hanging it back up over the fire place

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What happens when a man runs naked into a bank? He doesn't get service because he isn't wearing shoes or a shirt

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An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can't talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it's a bird of prey. Posted by: BerserkSpoon

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sally Sally who? Haha I'm just kidding, I'm Jorge.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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