Mel Gibson is awoken by the ringing of his telephone. He proceeds to have a nice conversation with his wife.

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A man walks into a bar and sees a woman starring at him, she seems attractive... he walks up to her and realizes that sheis quite mediocre if not even ugly. He proceeds to say "You'll do"

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I was lying in bed looking at the stars in the sky What did i think to myself? Were the heck is the ceiling???

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Why are you asking me this question? That's awful and you should be ashamed of yourself.

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What is the difference between an empty bucket and a bucket of water? The Water.

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Why was the girl distressed by the photo of her boyfriend's mutilated corpse? Because it was out of focus.

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I just threw up..In my pants.

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What do you do with a dog that has no legs? Take him to the vet and have him put to sleep, it's the only humane thing to do.

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What is small, cries a lot, and moves at high speeds? A baby stapled to a car.

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? A: stolen cheese.

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what do you call a black man that sells drugs

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roses are red violets are blue show me your bed i wanna fuck you oh and roses are red violets are blue nice tits.

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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What did the judge say to the criminal? I sentence you to a life time of solitary confinement.

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Whats worse than tripping? Getting shot

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Whats worse than suicide? death

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Knock knock Whos there? Knock knock Who's there? Knock knock Who's there?! "is anyone home this is Helan Keller"

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What did the duck say? Nothing. Everyone knows that ducks can't talk.

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Yo momma is so stupid that she walked off a cliff.

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You want to know how I got these scars? A horrible knife throwing accident.

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A guy walks into a doughnut shop and says "I'll have a small coffee and a doughnut." The shop keeper says, "I'm sorry we ran out of coffee." The guy says, "All right I'll just have coffee than"

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Whats worse than getting a papercut on the side of your finger? Being shotgunned in the ass

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How does a bird grow gills if you're riding a peanut. A fridge.

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Why was 7 afraid of 6? It saw what 6 and 9 do when they're together.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops