why didn't sue come to her son's baseball game? because he doesn't play baseball, he lost his arms in a horrible plane crash. besides, sue died in that accident anyway.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It followed a trail of bird feed that was strewn across the street.

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A man walks into a bar and says give me a 84 bourbon, when he gets it he spits it out and says this is no 84 bourbon this is a 74 scotch, So he asks for a 68 brandy , when he gets it he spits it out again in disgust saying this isn't a 68 brandy this is a 87 whiskey!, than the old man next to him says here try this, the man says what is it?, the old man just says try it, so the man does, he spits it out and shouts this is urine!, the old man says correct, now tell me how old i am.

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sorry about this, my enter key is stuck down... Really sorry guys. Nearly fixed it. Look I said I was sorry! All fixed :~D

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Whats the difference between Tina Turner and dead babies? I have never fu*ked Tina Turner before.

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Knock knock whos there? Its me, your doorbell is obviously broken Okay, hold on a sec. Please hurry up, its really cold I cant seem to find my key Its probably on the coffeetable, where you always keep it. No, its not there Check the floor underneith Oh, right, there it is.

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A man walks into a bar, and he died.

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''I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.''

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Why did the cow cross the road? -Because it lives in India and is allowed to.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Oh wait! i don't care!

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What would George Washington be doing if he was alive today? Scratching and screaming at the bottom of his coffin.

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why were the niggas in paris? rhetorical question. everyone knows they aren't french

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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What did the newborn get on it's birthday? A life

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What happens when u mix water and soda? You get watery soda

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Why did the Salesman leave the leper colony? He had to wish his daughter a happy birthday.

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what is awesome but stupid at the same time? school i lied about the awesome part :p

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs falling skydiving? Jon, because that's his name.

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What do you call a tree that grew in the middle of a road? Whatever type of tree it was.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your best friend. No it's not, you stupid repo man...I'M NOT OPENING THE DOOR.

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Two fish in a tank one said "How do you drive this thing?"

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You know what rhymes with school? Hell.

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A bar walks into a man. No, firstly it wasn't a man and secondly the bar didn't walk in. The pedophile just slid it in and sodomized the poor boy.

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Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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