" Want to hear a good anti-joke?! " " Sure! " " Me too. "

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did the black man say before he went to sleep? im going to sleep

thumb_up thumb_down +28

hey chris what yu doing wit my back pack? using it..

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Two cats are sat on a window ledge. One cat looks to the other and says "Meoww".

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's red and bad for your teeth A brick

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why'd the black man smell awful... Because he hadn't showered in multiple days

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they stink.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How do you burn Lebron James's house? With fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the chicken open door? It can't. Chickens don't have hands.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A man goes to his doctor and says, "Help me, my wife thinks she's a chicken." The doctor recommends a nearby psychiatrist to analyze the wife's mental instability, and inevitably she is housed in an insane asylum. The husband commits suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Jews are human beings. Pizza is a type of food.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call a lot of goose in one place? geese

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Tell me you're a rapist. You're a rapist. This joke makes no sense. Mashed potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

My Jimmy Saville advent calendar is rubbish. It only opens from 1 to 16.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Whats pink and silver and runs into walls? A baby with forks in its eyes. Whats green and silver and sits in a corner? The same baby three weeks later.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What does a hooker eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner? Food.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call a gay man? Homosexual

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What is the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer while the other is just a water melon.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Two Muslim men board an American Airlines jet. Nobody feels threatened and engage in friendly conversations with the passengers. The aircraft explodes due to poorly manufactured engine parts made by small starving children.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q:What's colorful and waves like a flag? A: A flag.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q: Why did the Jew fit in with the White people? A: Because he, and his compatriots, have accepted the view of Judaism as a religion, and perhaps a lifestyle -- but not a race.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Knock Knock. Who's there? William. William who? You friend...William...you invited me over.. Can I come in?

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops