Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call the man with no arms and no legs? Jeff. Because that's his ****ing name.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

''In Austin, Texas, President Obama told an audience, 'If you want to go forward you put your car in 'D.' If you want to go backward, you put your car in 'R.'' But you know something? Either way, the economy is still F'd.''

thumb_up thumb_down -15

An amputee walks into a bar with a big smile on his face and sits down. The bartender looks over at him and asks "So why are you so happy?" The amputee doesn't answer because he has been completely deaf, blind and mute since birth.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What happened to the turtle that was on land Dead

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I told him to. I'm very influential.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the man stop smoking? Because he was shot in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Kids, your mother and I thought we should tell you this now... You know our dog sparky? Well he... was actually Osama bin Laden and is now dead!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock Knock Who's there? Tennis? Tennis who? Tennis Racket

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man walks in to a bar and everyone screamed running out the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Jesse likes to jack off and lick the white stuff off of his balls and digest it

thumb_up thumb_down -15

field day?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Thank you for flying Buzzy Fly Airlines. Today we'll be flying around Uranus.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a Koala bear that does not have a chin? A Koala bear.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because animals walking across a paved street is a very common occurrence ever since the industrialization of the modern world.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

a horse walks into a bar the bartender says "why such the long face?" the horse is now crying in tears because the bartender made him. by Brennan pickrell

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How many friends does it take to catch an owl? One because he was a bird catcher.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man walks into a bar and says ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q. What do you call a black pilot A. A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Antijokes...

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q. what did the hobo say to the rich guy A. nothing the hobo wa a mute

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why didn't suzzana go to school on Monday?? Because it was Sunday...I lied about it being monday

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's the best part about having sex with a 9 year old in the shower? Pedophilia is a crime, and the people that do it are very sick individuals. The fact that you even thought there was a 'best' part disgusts me.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What was Hellen Keller's dogs name? dhfgbvskjne How did Hellen Keller's dog die? Natural causes.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops