When did the ball-room finally close? Closing time.

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Not lying Red, I have my contacts, I am a "facilitator", I pull strings for my employers, and sure the FBI has me on their files, after all we have cooperated with them. Not because I wanted to, but because its my job, and it helps me use the best of my abilities and limited education (I am technically an educated lawyer, and not an agent).

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Whats big, red and will cause severe injuries possibly fatalities if it falls out a tree? A phone box

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Jax vs Pig Jax: HOHAHOHOHAHOHAHOHA... Etc Pig *spinning head like neck is gonna break off* Shao Kahn: FINISH HIM! Jax: GOT YA! OH YEAH... BEASTIALI*Y, BEAST*ALITY? AGAIN?

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why did the pancake eat a spanish holiday? Because a plane crashed into his condominium

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What do you call a person without a heart? Not alive.

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FAMOUS DUDE:SWAG! Thank you, thank yo- HEY NO FLASH PHOTOGRAPHY, NO YOU CANT HAVE MY-KABOOM AUDIENCE: . . . YAY CLAP CLAP CLAP.

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Q: Why did the white man die? A: because he had cancer

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i used to take arrows to the knee,til i took one to the balls.

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Caramel Boing.

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Q: What did the two muffins say in the oven? A: OMG we are in an oven, "OMG a talking muffin"

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Whats worse than losing your entire family in a car accident? Luikimia

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How did the hot blonde get a promotion from her boss? She worked really hard and achieved more thaan her coworkers.

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What's red and green and goes 500 mph? A frog in a blender.

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Why did the ground beef taste funny? Because little Timmy fell in the grinder.

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Something strange in you're neighborhood. Who you gonna call? The police.

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What has wheels and is green all over? Grass... I was just kidding about the wheels.

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Why couldnt the man stop dancing? He had Parkinson's.

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What do you call a discounted watercraft? It is traditional to give it a female name.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? No I said Lou. Oh hey Lou come on in.

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Why was Sally sad? She was the only survivor of a plane crash that killed her entire family.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Daises are white And Pansies hold hands and skip

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why would a man mistake a watermelon for AK-47? i dont know. The man probably has mental issues.

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what did the dog say to the cat? bark what did the cat say to the dog? nothing it ran away

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops