Roses are red Violets are red Jimmy is red Sally is red Susie is red Jimmy is red Billy is red Carl is red Jose is red Jerry is red Ferdinand is red Everyone is red Because they all just got shot In the head And now they're dead

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Where do drunk asians live? In their house or apartment with their families, who are concerned about his drinking.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man was struck by lightning. What did you think he got super powers or something? No. He died a horrible death

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why are there so many jokes about germans on Anti-Joke? Because the Germans epitomize the flavour of anti-jokes perfectly and they have the whole nazi history thing going on which is ripe ground for many an anti-joke

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why can't Chuck Norris die? He can, he's just a normal human being.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the different between a blond and a brunette? Blondes taste better when cut into small pieces and fried in a skillet.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: Why are black people so tall? A: Not all black people are tall, and if they are it is probably from their specific genes.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man walks into a bar. He gets drunk, goes home, and beats his wife and kids.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A woman walks into a bar and asks for a duck. The bartender is confused, assumes the women has some sort of mental problem, and treats her nicely, as his sister suffers from Down's Syndrome.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is worse then dying of testicular cancer? Living of testicular cancer and having one amputated?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's better than 24-year-olds? Twenty 4-year-olds.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do mario and luigi have in common They are both plumbers

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you kill somebody? A: I don't know, I'm not a murderer.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A midget walked under a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many babies does it take to paint a house? That is child labor, which is illegal in many countries.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

"hey bro" "WHATS UP" "nothin..... I heard you had your first bj yesterday." "YEAH!!" "how'd it taste?" ........

thumb_up thumb_down +4

a man and his son pull up out side b&q and the man says to his son run in there and get me a black n decker and the boy goes in and is standing in the power tools isle and he looks round and there is a lady standing next to him so he hit her, the woman happened to be black and 2 minutes later a security guard rushes round and says son what did u do that for and the son said my dad told me to come in and get a black n decker!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because lately the posts on "anti-joke.com" have not been anti-jokes. Not even a little.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Your moms so ugly, that when i took her out to eat for dinner we built an everlasting relationship. Thats why you call me dad.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

AFTER PONDERING UPON YOUR SUGGESTION... I HAVE CONSIDERED, THOUGHT, SOUGHT TROUGH THE YELLOW PAGES OF WISDOM AND MIGHT, AND MY ANSWER TO THAT SUGGESTION IS... A DEFINITIVE, FIRM AND MANLY... Moral: MAAAAYBEEEEE?!?!?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q. How do you make time fly? A. It is highly impossible to make time fly for there is 24 hours in a day, 60 minutes in an hour, and 60 seconds in a minute so therefore the time flows how it should and we do not have such power to do it even though many people claim they do when they know they really don't

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Fortunately," said the snooty maître d', "we'll let you come in without a Thai.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops