POLITE NOTICE: Management Committee here. Please refrain from posting any anti-jokes which are not offensive to protected groups.

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2 drunk men walk out of a bar, they see a dog on the corner licking himself. One drunk says "man, I wish I could do that" The other drunk says "you might want to pet him first"

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Roses are red Violets are blue Theres a crazy ass alpaca ready to take a shit on you

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Why did the first squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure. Why did Bobby fall off his bike? He was hit by 4 squirrels.

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What does little Tommy and a tomato have in common? They are both vegetables. Oh wait, a tomato is a fruit.

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Two women get in the shower at the same time, because they both start work at 8:00am and have commutes of similar length.

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Why is Michael Jackson a bad chess player? Because he's dead.

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Whats worse than finding a maggot in your apple? Getting Raped

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What's green and fuzy and could kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table

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Q:what's worse than eating outdated raviolis? A:terminal cancer.

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Q: Whats Worse Than 21 Dead Babies in a Trashbag? A: 1 Dead Baby In 21 Trashbags.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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an object in motion continues to stay in motion unless acted upon by an external force :)

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Why is there air? To blow up basketballs

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If Spongebob lives in Bikini Bottom, Where is Bikini Top?

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Whats The diference between a park bench and a black man? A park bench can support a family of five hahahhaahahah

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A girl asks a guy are you finish. The guy says no I'm British.

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What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff.

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A blonde, a Jew, and a black man all went to the store. They each bought their groceries and went home to enjoy the rest of their day with their families.

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What do you call a blonde at the beach? A dipthong.

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Knock knock.

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What has a pie and my hand got in common? It's got meringue on it.

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Nuclear Bombs are bad. But erections are good.......as long as they are stroked

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roses are red,violets are blue,faces like yours belong in a zoo,but don't worry i'll be there to,not in a cage but laughing at you!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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