poop.

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Why was the boy holding his breath? A man was holding his head under water.

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What does "Ford" stand for? Nothing. It's the name of the company founder, not an acronym.

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Whats worse than Lindsey Lohans vagina? Nothing.

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What's the difference between a snake, and a lawyer? A snake cannot comprehend law, nor can one attend law school and set up an office. They are also different species.

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why did the black guy fall off a cliff? because he was a zombie

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a screaming goat

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what's the easiest way to tell time? a clock

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A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods, the bear asks the rabbit does shit stick to your fur? The rabbit says no, so the bear wipes his ass on the rabbit

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Roses are Brown Violets are Brown Whos been shitting on my garden??

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Why aren't anti jokes funny? Idk. Watermelon in your pants, you're adopted.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, This joke is stupid, Chuck Testa.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Jim: You wanna hear a funny joke? Tim: Sure Jim: Well, if you want a funny joke, this isn't the place to be.

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house... knock knock who's there the chicken

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What do you call a baby with a shadow? A shadow-baby!

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Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

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BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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Q: What's blue and yellow all over? A: A baby at the bottom of the pool with a slashed floatie. Q: What's red and yellow all over? A: A floatie at the top of a pool with a slashed baby.

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What's red and green and goes 100mph? A frog in a vehicle on the Autobahn.

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A guy walks into a bar. He has a couple beers, gets in his car and goes home. He got arrested on the way because it is illegal to drink and drive.

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14 people jump in a hole about 25 ft deep. they can't climb out because it is a straight vertical drop.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops