Why did the boy let go of his red ballon? Because he was hit by a car

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Kid 1 Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken. Kid 2 Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys. Kid 1 You know what? I think you're right Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for his birthday? A bike

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Q:Whats big, red and eats rocks? A: A big red rock eater

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What do you get when you combine lemons, sugar and water? Lemons, sugar, and water

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it doesn't have the capacity for rational thought and decision-making and was subsequently hit by a car.

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Two penguins in a bath tub, one says "Pass me the soap" and the other one says "What do you think I am, a radio!"

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What did the angry man with tourette syndrome say when he smashed his thumb with a hammer? Ouch.

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Knock knock! Who's there? F*ck. F*ck who? F*ck you.

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whats long, black, and smells like shit? a big turd

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam.

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why does the world spin? Chuck Norris says so

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A blind deer.

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Do you like fishsticks? Yes I personally think they are high in saturated fats, but to each his own Oh I thought you were asking if I was homosexual

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What do you call a plane in shining armor? A knight flight.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme But this one doesnt

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What do u call something that's sticky and in a stick form? A glue stick :)

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Why did the 2 black kids jump the barb-wired fence To get to the other side

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What do you get when you cross Michael Jackson? A collision, if Michael Jackson were alive.

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What do you get when you mix Jabba the Hut with a hen? nothing, genetically they are unable to reproduce due to the disproportionate number of chromosomes and DNA

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Is your refridgerator running? good, because if it wasn't then your food would spoil.

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HAHAH MY WORD IS HAPPY CLAPPY

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar asks "Why the long face?". The horse replies " I am deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law."

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Why do dogs walk across the street? Cause they can

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops