I once saw my grandparents making love.. that's why I dont eat raisens

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The snails are salting one by one Hurrah! Hurrah! They fizzle up until they're gone Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting two by two Hurrah! Hurrah! They melt until there's only goo Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting three by three Hurrah! Hurrah! Some shells and slime is all I see Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting four by four Hurrah! Hurrah! We shaker-salt them even more Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die!

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why did the baby fall out of the crib? it was dead

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Your mom is so old, I am surprised she can still own a house and function on her own.

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Whats red and goes round and round? A baby in the garbage disposal

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Come in! Come in who? I'm just com in' inside.

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whats the sad part of 4 negroes driving off a cliff? the car couldve fit 5

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an american an asian and a jihadist got on a train where did they go no where as the jihadist was strapped to c4

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Why did the police officer decide to eat a donut? Because he was slightly hungry, but a meal seemed too much for him.

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Your mom is so fat she could consider going on biggest loser, where she might be able to make a lot of money.

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Why couldnt the man stop dancing? He had Parkinson's.

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Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Does it really matter?

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How can you tell if a duck is quaking? Hear it

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What did the kid with all F's on his report card get? Beat by his parents

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How old is victor? Half past dead

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What's the difference between Obama and a monkey? They are two different species, so thus they are very different.

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3 men walk into a bar. The 4th one ducks.

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Once upon a time, your dog got hit by a car this morning

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I dyed my armpit hair blue yesterday because I wanted to start a new trend. My boyfriend later broke up with me.

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What did the boy and the dog do at the park? Nothing, the dogs dead

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What did the muffin say to the other muffin? "Hello, nice to meet you."

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What did the helicopter say? Aluminum-minum-minum-minum-minum-mum-mum-mum-mum-um-um-um-um

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What did the farmer say when he couldnt find his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops