Why was the chair sad? It wasn't, for chairs do not posses the proper attributes to feel emotions such as depression.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple That one time I rapped and killed your mom, oh and happy birthday prick

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a short term memory Roses are red

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A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, build up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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Kevin and Ramin

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A Penguin walk into a bar and asks "Have you seen my brother?" And the bartender replies "What does he look like?"

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A lot eh?

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Then none of us want to be right.

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What happened to the little girl who fell into the lake? She was rescued and made a complete recovery.

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three lesbians on a plane they were all responsible and had sex when they got home and not on the plane

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What do you call a naked couple? Horny.

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why did the the frog cross the road? because he was on the chickens back

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Why did the blond girl walk into the street pole? Because she wasn't paying attention.

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What's brown and sticky? Dog turd

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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Why did Polly fall off her roof? Because her dad pushed her.

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Have u ever noticed why a Police car siren isnt as loud as an ambulance siren? Do u know why that is? Because i dont, and i would like to know because my over active and curious brain is pounding through my skull and throbbing with question and wont stop until i know the answer!

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Q.what happens if a fat man see's a black man? A. the fat man eats the black man thinking that he was chocolate

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"Ask me if I'm a tree," "Are you a tree?" "No."

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OMG FUCKING NERDS WITH NO LIFE CAN READ ABOUT THE POWER OF YOUR Vaginal puss puss color, no but seriously, I kinda prefer unshaven, I mean if I change my opinion I just do it myself or command that you shave yourself while I put it on my cellphone while I jack off to you, making a creampie, yeah because.

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Okay.

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B=boy G=girl B:hey i got a good nock nock joke but you have to start it G:okay nock nock B:whos there?

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Who is it?

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John has 37 candy bars and eats 36 of them? What does John have? Diabetes, John has Diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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