''I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.''

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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What does two plus two equal? 4

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What do you call a white duck? A quacker

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Two biscuits were sitting in an oven. One says to the other hows it going, the other says nothing because he knows that biscuits can't talk.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

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What looks like a lion, sounds like a lion, and feels like a lion? A lion Ba dum chh

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What has 2 legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog

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What do you do if you run over a black man? Call an ambulance... he's probably about to die.

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If you eat a brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundae, your tastebuds will likely turn purple and move to France, where people don't eat brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundaes.

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What did the atheist say as Jesus walked past? nothing, he ran to the nearest bar and called the insane asylum.

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Whats long and red all over? This Cut on my arm, i should get it checked out.

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ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha...................... Wats so funny?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reading the dumbass things that people come up with as an answer.

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a black guy hates chicken.

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Why did the man fall off the cliff? I don't know, I have mental AIDS.

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whate white and cant climb trees? powdered sugar

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Help, this is an urgent message from the S.S. Obesity. We're sinking; I can't imagine why.

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Why did the turtle fall out of the car? It forgot to buckle up

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Q. Why did the television set turn on? A. Because someone pressed the power button.

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Who is happpier than the grouch about the Zombie Apoclypse? Dora.

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Oh, well if you want, I would like for you to tell her that I wish her good health, suddenly it sounds like I am speaking with spider man here, so you could balance on the top of a tower like a ninja and stuff?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't the farmer shot him before he could have a chance at freedom.

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What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? -They're both purple except the rabbit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops