Did you hear the one about the flying turtle? No? Okay I'll tell you about it. So one day there was a flying turtle. His name was Larry and he was a turtle that can fly. However, nobody believed that Larry can fly and he wanted to prove it. So the next day George, who was a flying octopus, called Jerry on his cell phone and told him a story about a Larry. Jerry, who was a media reporter, was so offended by his story and called the police. Question: What did the police say? Nothing because it was a made up story

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A man walks into a bar, he is then escorted to the hospital as a result of brain trauma.

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Why is OK SUK WHANG's name on a gravestone? She thought she was way better than okay.

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SHE GOT A BIG BOOTY SO I CALL HER by her real name because she is a woman and worthy of my respect.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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Q: How do you give a frigid woman an orgasm? A: By making her come.

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A sad horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" the horse answers "My wife was just diagnosed with terminal cancer."

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Why did Charlie eat a baked potato? Because he was hungry.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares?

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why did the man steal change from the tip jar? he wanted another state quarter for his collection

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Why was Timmy sore? He'd been playing with his cornhole along with his friends all day!

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What did one dog say to the other dog? Nobody knows as humans are unable to understand the way dogs communicate.

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What do you call a black man that flies a plane? A pilot you racist bastard!

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Oh no my baby is dead. Ha.

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Is that a banana in your pocket, or do you just have an erection?

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Knock knock Who's there Done Done who? Done with waiting out here, let me in you dick!

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Why was the asian bad at sex? Because he was 5 years old

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Why was the boy sad he ate a loaf of bread? Because ducks ate him alive after that.

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A black man, a Mexican man, and a cop are walking in downtown New York. So are tens of thousands of other people, because it is a very large and diverse city.

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Once a upon a time there was a girl named Cinderella. She rubbed a magic lamp and a genie appeared. Then a guy named Larry Harry walks into a laundry mat. 7 days later she died.

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Where would it be hard to find handicapped parking? At the paralympics.

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Three Jewish men walk into a butcher. They dont buy any pork products and thank the butcher for his services.

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whats red and bad for your teeth... A brick.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops