What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven

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What's worst than biting into an apple and finding a worm? The holoca- *the man hearing the joke then pulls out a desert eagle and shoots the man in the chest before finishing the joke then goes to jail for the rest of his life*

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Things i love to hate: Conspiracy theorists Religious fundamentalists Hypocritical people Sally (she has no arms) People selling pyramid schemes Liars, con-artists, thieves. Rapists, child molesters, serial killers Terrorists, politicians, and keyboard warriors That is all.

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I've got 99 problems and they're all stressing me out and causing me to be very unhappy.

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Thank you Nero, this might not sound apropiate at all, but I am in love with you and have always been, and just want you to know that what I love the most about you is your spirit, your kindness, and sincerely, how you make me feel safe, I think its that you are dead honest to the point where you insult people asking for your opinion, I never had to question what you really mean or want, you just say it out loud, I love you, I realize it must be strange hearing that from someone you see as a daughter, I remember my father too well to consider you one, but I guess I always considered you a hot big brother of sorts. You are 32 huh? You always knew did you not? Why that secret of all things? Ill be arriving as soon as those trained killers of yours show by, and man are they fast and loyal, only you could inspire that love. I know your name is Nero, but I would not mind calling you Axel or at least knight, that's what you have always been for me.

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You: "Ask me if im an astronaut. " Them: "R u an astronaut?" You: "No. "

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A blonde just got a call from her boyfriend. He said i'll meet you at your house, so the blonde drove home, excited. Once the blonde got home her boyfriend was having sex with another girl. The blonde burst into tears and pulled out her gun then stuck it to her head. " No dont do it!" her boyfriend said!...... the blonde, not knowing what to do next said, " Shut up you cheater you're next!"

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How do you make a Cowboy cry? You kill his family.

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What do you call an blonde, brunette, and a redhead? There has yet to be a definition for a group of people categorized by hair color.

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what did batman say to robyn before he got in the car?... "get in the car"

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How do you make a plumber cry? Murder his family.

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tea with milk?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? This site.

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How do you make a hobo cry? You steal his trash.

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Why did the jew kill himself? He heard a raciest joke and went into a period of depresion causing him to lose all will to live.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke....? A pig rolling in mud!

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What's worse than finding out your husbands gay...........finding out he's gay with your brother"

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Why did the man lose the spelling bee? He was mentally retarded and had no friends.

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Why was the gay man gay? Because he likes touching other guys penises

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I'm color blind, How about you?

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How do you offend a black man? Call him a nigger.

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Why is my penis 2 inch hard? Because I rape little boys with it and there tight little asshole are crushing it

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How do you turn a dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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