Yo mama's so fat that when she steeped on the scale, it read a rather large number as compared to the average, healthy weight of the human race. Of course, she could become thin by working out or eating less, but she chooses not to because of the laziness that has now corrupted her completely.

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How many types of pure breed dogs are there in the world? 701

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What happend to the girl in the corner? Idk that's why I asked!! :P

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How do you catch a Jew? Just give him a little shower ;)

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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What did Osama say before he was shot? Nothing, it was a surprise attack.

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I walked across a lake once. Someone said "JESUS CHRIST!" to which I replied with "YES?"

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Why are tootsie rolls brown? because they are....

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What was wrong with the man watching a black and white television program? He wasn't watching a black and white television program at all-he actually had color blindness.

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Why did the the dog not eat its food? Because the night before the dog had gotten serious disease and lost appetite

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What do you get if you cross an Irishman with a Brazilian Aristocrat? I don't know.

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Why did little Suzie spill her drink? Since birth, she has lacked a jaw.

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How did the newborn baby come out of a man? It was ejaculated as a sperm from his testicles

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-Knock Knock - Who's there? - Child Protective Services, we have multiple reports of you abusing several of your children...

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*knock knock* "Who's there?" "It's the police, I'm afraid your husband was in a car crash and died."

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Why was Rodney afraid of Chung Lee? Because Chung Lee is an intimidating person, capable of literally ripping your face off.

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TRICERATOPS!

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A old man walks into a hospital He doesn't come back out

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Some anti-jokes are funny, some are not!

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How come Pluto and Goofy are both dogs, but Goofy can talk and Pluto can't? Because Goofy can walk on two legs, and is therefore superior to Pluto in Walt Disney's eyes.

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What hurts more than a papercut? A chainsaw between your legs.

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What happened when an FBI agent and a cop argued over control of a hostage situation? Several people including a respected community leader were killed.

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Have you ever had a traditional Ethiopian Dinner? Neither have they.

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Two clarinets were locked in a case for 20 years. They both play well.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops