a man walks into a bar. He left after he drank two beers. Someone pulled his pants down and he didnt notice. when he got home he realized his pants were gone. He returned to the bar to search, but it was a metal bar, and he was fairly stupid. please dont laugh

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What do you call the man with no arms and no legs? Jeff. Because that's his ****ing name.

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What is the quickest way to speed up your 70 year old husband’s heart rate? Extract of foxglove is a very effective blocker of the parasympathetic nervous system, and since the parasympathetic nervous system is responsible for slowing the heart, this would lead to an increase in heart rate. However, it is very dangerous to use such chemicals without advice, and therefore it is better to seek an examination and, if necessary, a prescription from a qualified GP.

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I've got the whole world! In my hands! I've got the whole world! In my hands! I've got the whole world! In my hands! Now you must listen to all of my demands or I will crush you all.

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Q why did the kids make fun of timmy A because he was an android with al chunk of metal added accidentally where a real boys crotch would be. Bwilkster

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how much fish could a chicken

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? A fat kid sitting on you

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Why doesn't the little boy talk to his mom? Because she smells like barbecue sauce.

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don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!

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The joke below me was written by someone who was mauled by a panther and raped by a tribe.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, STDs are contagious. Careful who you screw!

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roses are blue violets are red and just like you they're messed up in the head

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit him with an ax

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Why is Short Circuit the best movie ever made? Because it tastes like lemons

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What did Tim's grandma get him for his birthday? Nothing, because Tim's grandma died in a car accident 2 years ago

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Knock knock Who's there? Mike Mike who? Mike Davis from across the street. Come in.

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eh dylan quieres que te trolle de nuevo

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there square amphibious wood gum flag homos CC

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Knock knock: Who's there? Guy in the doghouse. Guy in the doghouse who? WILL YOU LET ME OUT OF HERE?!?

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven killed all of six's family

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What do you call a really old black person? Someone's grandfather

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Why aren't there any painkillers in the jungle? because of the unethical and unscrupulous practices of big pharma

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you know what? CHICKEN BUTT. butt of chicken ahahahaa

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Two pandas walked into a bar. The bar was in china.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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