What do you call a one legged , one eyed, canadian fisherman called Samuel Browning? Mr Browning unless you are on friendly terms then Sam is fine.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Fred: Hey man where were you last night. Steve: Why don't yo ask yo mama.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the jews get off the bus? Because i threw a fridge at it

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why do depressed people like sharp knives? Cause there good for cutting Salad

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Your face Godammit!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What? I didn't say anything. Yes you did.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q. What is the answer to life the universe and everything A. 42

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you calla baby nailed to a wall? Art.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did Lou Gehrig die from? ALS

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? Because he got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Did you hear about the three Arabs that hijacked a plane? They drove it into the Pentagon.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why are black people so good at basketball? Because they work hard at it

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A father and his son get into an accident and are whisked away to the hospital. The father dies, and the son is brought into surgery. The doctor is rushed in, but looks at the boy and says "I can operate on this boy, his my son." How is this possible? The boy's father was a zombie.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One muffin says "It sure is hot in here." The other muffin says "Holy shit a talking muffin

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the grape do when it got stepped on? Released some juice and burst its skin.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man walks into a store. He purchases what he was intending to, walks out, and gets on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

There is a newly wed couple, a biker and his biker lady friends. The newly wed man says to his wife, "Pass the honey, honey". One of the biker chicks looks over. Five minutes later the man says to his wife, "Pass the sugar, sugar". They biker chick looks back at them and then asks the biker man, "Why don't you treat us like that?" " You know your right. Pass the bacon... lovely". And from that day on the bikers lived in peace and harmony.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

"Hey, did you hear that the Dungbeetles got a divorce? They live in California so she got half his shit."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

So, a screw driver walks into a bar, and the bar tender sais "Hey Screw Driver" we have a drink named after you" the screw driver goes, "Really? You have a drink named Bob"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

anti joke What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Math: "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 4 in the other, what do I have?" Answer: "An unreasonable amount of bottles to hold in two hands."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man walks into a bar, he is then escorted to the hospital as a result of brain trauma.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops