two peanuts walked into a bar they both sat down and immediately left once they found out the bar was serving peanuts.

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kennah campion when she talks

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chuck norris does not know how to use a plunger.

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A man walks to a bar and sees a very hot blonde sitting across the room. Turns out it was actually a blonde man and they both had a wonderful night because they were both homosexual.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because having no sense of hearing or vision she is completely incapable of operating any sort of machinery.

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How many blondes does it take to change a diaper? About a thousand

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Bläeghen-Fassybìll-No?cheb!

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Whats worst than finding half a worm in your apple? Getting rapped by a giant scorpian

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What is green and red all over? A christmas tree that is internally bleading.

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How many dead kids can you fit into a plastic bag in your trunk? Ask Kasey Anthony

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How do you help someone stop drowning You take your foot off the back their head.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being molested by a giant octopus.

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A girl walks into a bar and the bartender says, "why is your face so tan?" And she replies "I just got back from the beach."

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Why was the girl crying when she got home? She got raped and mugged on the walk home

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An anteatter walks into a bar, the bar tender says "hey renee zellweger"

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What does Chuck Norris order at McDonalds? A Big Mac with a large fry and drink.

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An alligator walks into a bar. The bar tender calls animal control and calmly escorts everyone out the back door.

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Why didn't Suzie ride her bike? Suzie's mother aborded her. She was never born.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, what can I get you?" He is then checked into the psychiatric ward at the local hospital, for talking to a duck.

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someone jumped off a bridge he died

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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"what did the priest say to the rabbi?" "what" "my religions better

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Whats the difference in car and a bicycle? One has an engine and drivetrain designed to run on gas and the other is powered by your output of work

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Why is the chicken dead? It tried to cross the road.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops