A man gets a new job working for his boss. Later, he beats his boss in a fight, quits his job, and starts his own business. Historians later concluded that the man's life would serve as a perfect national allegory for the USA.

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Why did the hispanic buy a pepsi? Because he was thirsty.

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Why did the woman shout at the bin? Because she is mentally ill

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Love Chocolate, More Than I Love You

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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What's funnier than the holocaust? Nothing.

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Why did your girlfriend dump you? because someone brainwashed this guy into believing this nonsense.

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the duck walked in the bar then he walded away

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What is 1 + 1 equal to? 2, because if you have one orange and if you add another orange, you will have 2 oranges, therefore 1 plus 1 is 2.

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How many people can you fit in an oven? Six million, according to Hitler.

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Q: What has four eyes but can't see? A: A blind guy with glasses

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Why didn't Clemson accept John Burns' college application? Because John Burns was wanted for five counts of first degree murder.

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How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

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Knock knock. Get out!!

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the ocean? Bob

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have to go to the bathroom.

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So a man walking down a nature trail came across an injured fox laying on the ground in pain, it looked like it was attacked recently. There wasn't much the man could do at the time, so he gently picked up the fox and rushed the fox to his house. The man arrives moments later at his house with the fox. There were a lot of options the man could choose, but he went with a simple recipe. The man grabbed a knife and gutted the fox, removing all unnecessary organs. He then skinned the fox of it's fur. He sliced the head off, cut the legs to a stub, and stuffed it. He gave it a nice seasoning and placed it in the oven at about 350F for 6 hours. When the fox was perfectly cooked, it was taken out of the oven and left to sit for about 5 minutes to cool. He cut a chunk of meat from the dish and sat down to eat. "What a fine meal" the man said.

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Why did the blonde walk into a glass wall? Because she either wasn't watching where she was going or the wall was so clean that it appeard not to be there

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I don't know. It depends how high the light is.

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Your Mom was so fat he made herself Liposuction Twice

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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what do you wear at a funeral? white. lol jk black

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What is orange and annoying? A purple potato.

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You know what's wrong with Oprah? Generally nothing. She's a well-respected African American woman who happens to be quite wealthy and likes to share her wealth with other people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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