whats worse then getting a bad present on your birthday? dying.

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How do you get a one-armed kid down from a tree? Wave.

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Q.sam is 18 years old, why can't she get her licence? A.because Sam is a lost dog on the street

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Why did Jack take a prune out for the evening? A healthy snack as part of a balanced diet.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are polemicists.

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What's the difference between you and a sick duck? I forget the rest but your mother's a whore.

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whats worse than the black death. Bieber Fever

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Quaint? Oh yeah? YOU ARE QUAINT! No seriously, whats that word all about.

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Why did the chines were sunglasses? It was sunny.

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What's the worst part about aids? Telling your wife and kids.

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what did the black guy say to the white guy im black

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A brown park bench was bought. After multiple years the color had faded, and the bench was no longer the same shade of brown.

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How do you eat an Elephant? Elephant meat is most palatable after roasting in a 450 degree oven for 2 hours. Garnish with carrots and broccoli.

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Why did the 15 year old commit suicide? Because his parents and 3 sisters died in a car accident and he went to live with his uncle, who constantly raped him.

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Q: What is the difference between a horny college girls and a horny high school girl? A: Usually, an age will seperate people in different grades. Also, what grade their in.

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Pretty vague, if I did not know you, Id conclude you where working for some mob syndicate or something.

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How do u get an A on your test. U lock your teacher in the closet.

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What is big, round, hairy, black with a little bit of white and red stripes, large feet, small hands, squinty eyes and a purple beret? Nothing. How ridiculous.

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Johnny fell out of the window. Except he didn't fall I pushed him

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What did the boy say to his friend? "Hello!"

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Sex

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A guy walks up to his boy and tells him, "Hey, if you don't stop masturbating you'll go blind." The boy says, "Who are you? Your not my father."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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