Okay, this is a real joke: A guy slips on a banana and falls down in the most funny way ever, so a girl nearby starts laughing when she suddenly realizes the guy is bleeding profoundly, so she runs over to help, but it turns out the blood was just ketchup so... Just then they both got run over and killed by a car.

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Bible Games aka Bible Buffet: SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEGAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Sometime after the death and return of Superma... Jesus. God: RAISE FROM YOUR GRAVE! Jesus slays holy white beasts: POWER UP! POWER UP! HOMO UP! Uh did he say homo u... ARGH! CANNOT CONTAIN LEVEL OF HOMO! TURNING FURFAG/ALTERED BEAST. A wild Saten appears!: WELCOME TO YOUR DOOM! Jesus used gay wolf punch, it was not very effective... wild Saten uses OMFG HE TEARS OFF HIS OWN HEAD AND THROWS IT AT JESUS! Its super effective! Jesus Dies. Moral: Second coming? He came back to meet his disciples and crap AFTER quoting "ill be back", did he promise some third coming? Is that why people have been waiting for over 2000 years? :P

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Why are women so obsessed with not having penises? I'm serious. Imagine an ordinary woman out there, who is not doing any of the activities that the women-not-having-penises thing is famous for. But I can pretty much guarantee that under her clothes at that very moment, she isn't having a penis. And for no good reason. Sometimes I suspect women keep up the no-penis thing even in their sleep. Frankly, I find that creepy. Why are women so obsessed with not having penises?

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I asked the librarian where to find a specific book. She told me where it was.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh

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Whats brown and sticky? Poop on a warm summers night.

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Q: Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? A: A burglar

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Two muffins are in an oven. Ten minutes later we're enjoying delicious muffins together.

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what is the difference between a a person and a book? people can walk

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Why didn't Pat's grandma go to his birthday party? Because she died last night

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Living in Africa.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Interrupting cow Interrupting c- Moo

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2 nuns in the bath, One says "wears the soap" the other says "Over there, next to the shampoo"

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An American, an English and a Scottish got in the bar and ordered the same drink. After that they left.

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knock, knock who's there? boo boo who? sorry i dont know anyone named boohoo so get the hell off my lawn

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar, he doesn't let a minor disablity distract him from having a good time.

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What did the mentaly handycap kid get for christmas. A Bop-It

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Why did the man have a heart attack? Because he suffered from high cholesterol and cardiovascular disease.

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Why did the boy take the girls backpack? he has this many hands

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A man was caught cross dressing by his wife. She divorced him.

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what do you call 3 black men in a line up? their names

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What do an asian, a black man, and a Mexican all have in common? They all belong minorites that at one time have been outcast by society

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There's my tractor.

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roses are blue violets are blue everything is blue I'm sad now

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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