What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Tiger woods is a famous golf player and Santa is a fictional old man dressed in red and white who is said to live in Lapland, have an airborne sleigh driven by eight magical reindeer and come down the chimney to fill childrens' stockings on Christmas eve.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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What do you call a person that smells like shite and chases uglier girls than him? .. . . . . . . .. . . . . . Smelly McD the smelly cunt

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What did the pony say when it lost its voice? Nothing. Ponies are incapable of speech.

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roak

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How did the chicken cross the road? Suicide. There was a graveyard across the street. RIP Mr. Chicken.

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roses are red violets are blue i have dementia its not funny

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Why did the Zombie kill and eat a man? Because it was hungry.

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What's black and white and enforces the rules at football games? A referee? Wow you're really smart.

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OMG FUCKING NERDS WITH NO LIFE CAN READ ABOUT THE POWER OF YOUR Vaginal puss puss color, no but seriously, I kinda prefer unshaven, I mean if I change my opinion I just do it myself or command that you shave yourself while I put it on my cellphone while I jack off to you, making a creampie, yeah because.

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What is the difference between a fridge? I'm sorry, I have a severe mental disability and telling jokes is not... F'tang F'tang Zoop Pong Wii!

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so your in a room with mickey mouse and the lights go off, how did the lights go off mickey mouse turned them off

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How do you describe a cranky rapist? Cranky and rapist

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What did the smurf say to the other smurf? Smurf

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Jimmy went for a walk in the jungle, and he got lost!!

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Subject A: Knock Knock! Subject B: *silence* Subsequently, Subject A dejectedly walks home and hangs himself.

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So, would you like provolone or mozzarella with that? Yes.

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What's the difference between a person and a cow? 2% of their DNA. The other 98% is virtually identical.

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What do you call a black stormtrooper. What ever his name happens to be.

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there are seven of us," reply the babies, "now get us a round of bloody marys

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What do you call someone who kills a black person? A cop

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? On average 2,950, however, this has not been properly tested due to obvious reasons.

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Dey see me boilin' Dey choppin' God I'm so fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juiiiiiiccccy! MR MCCANN

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How many babies can you fit in a bottle? None, a bottle is too small

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops