Whats bright red and claws at the window? Baby in a microwave.

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How do you get a black guy to stop hanging around in your front yard? Hang him in the back yard.

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Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

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there are seven of us," reply the babies, "now get us a round of bloody marys

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Dey see me boilin' Dey choppin' God I'm so fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juiiiiiiccccy! MR MCCANN

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? On average 2,950, however, this has not been properly tested due to obvious reasons.

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What was sandusky's role at penn state turned tight ends into wide receivers

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Hearing the same holocaust joke seventeen times.

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What happened to the guy that got shot? He fell down

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Did you hear about the constipated mathematician who broke his calculator? He went to the shops and bought some laxatives and a new calculator.

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What's the difference between a person and a cow? 2% of their DNA. The other 98% is virtually identical.

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Justin Beiber

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Why couldn't the man walk? He lost his legs when he stepped on a land mine in Afghanistan.

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Subject A: Knock Knock! Subject B: *silence* Subsequently, Subject A dejectedly walks home and hangs himself.

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What do you call someone who kills a black person? A cop

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How many babies can you fit in a bottle? None, a bottle is too small

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What do you call a black stormtrooper. What ever his name happens to be.

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So, would you like provolone or mozzarella with that? Yes.

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poopy is poopy

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What happened to the child who was rushed into hospital with a deadly disease? He pulled through. I'ts depressing to be constantly hearing sad anti jokes, so here is a nice one. The child in question lived to eighty one, had a great life and a good job. See, it's nice to read a happy anti joke!

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What's city is in New York New York City

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've got revenge And you got big boobs. :3 Roses are blue Violets are red I'm bad poet Now i'm dead. O_O

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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What do a purple cow and a red fire engine have in common? Both like eating pizza on Fridays, except for the red fire engine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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