What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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Why did the man commit suicide? He was depressed.

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What do you call a black man on a rope swing? Usually whatever his first name is, but if he goes by a nickname you should use that

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What's worse then 10 babies nailed to 10 trees? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees

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whats fat round and mentally special? PeterPanMyHero!

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10 years later...... a baby is born in Japan and has 26 toes due to radiation

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Get 100,000 Twitter Followers for $49.99 at Ladsta.com today!

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What's nice and looks like a rat? Ryan Kavanagh, I lied about the nice part

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How many blondes does it take to finish a math test? 1 if she isn't copying.

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A: My dog has no nose. B: How does it smell? A: Terrible.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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How many Dean Mckee's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He doesn't know what a lightbulb's for, nevermind how to use one.

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why did the kid get in trouble. Because he put this up in typing class -charles hall aka chuckles

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Q: Why did Susan fall off the swings? A: She had no arms Q: Why did no one help her up? A: She had no friends Q: why was she at the play ground? A: Her parents were fighting again Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susan

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So there were these two ovens in a muffin. One oven said "Holy fuck it's muffiny in here." The other oven said "Holy fuck a talking oven!"

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How do you confuse a Mexican? Stand in the middle of a crosswalk while shouting "Cthulu will rise!" whilst looking at the sky and playing "Everybody Have Fun Tonight" by Wang Chung. Works every time.

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Whats not funny and no one wants to waste the time to reading it? This joke

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What's the difference between a raccoon and a bear? One's a raccoon, the other's a bear.

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Are those two people having sex? Yes, I think they are.

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Did you hear about the Polish submarine? It was one of five in the Polish Navy.

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a white guy, a black guy, and a latino guy all walk into a bar. The white man explains how his family is in turmoil because of his alcholism, the black guy shares his affection for crack, and the latino man explains why he shouldnt be here due to illegal immigration. They all hate their lives. Quack

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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Why did Harry Potter go to meet Professor Lupin? --Because he wanted to practice casting his Patronus

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I Have Somthing To tell you F*** You

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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