Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

No pen- no notes No notes- no study No study- no good grades No good grades- no diploma No diploma- no job No job- no money No money- no food No food- really skinny Really skinny- ugly Ugly- no wife No wife- no kids No kids- lonely Lonely- death No pen=death

Whats black and white all over? Michael Jackson

What starts with a 's' and ends in 'ex'? Sex -XH

- Mommy look, I built a sandcastle! - Who cares, you have cancer.

two elephants in a bathtub Elephant 1: pass me the soap Elephant 2: no, radio!

Ps. I am getting green thumbs, which is weird, I never even expected for anyone to even bother to read my fucking long comments,but then again... As my wife said, " I am not pissed at the fact that members of my movement dont depend too much of my advice in order to get along in life for nothing". True, while horsehead network might mock me, and my "blood family hate and/or fear me" It takes only a look into my wife`s eyes to feel like a God... All while I got many thousand members of Neronism worldwide waiting for me to cope with my past so they can worship me (which pisses me off, it was never my intention, I give them life advice on how to shape their own life, not on how to cling to me). Nero: Neronism, look it up, join me, stop looking for the answers in religion, but stand up for yourself and realize that there is no reason to wait for life after death, when we together, can create heaven on earth. Yes esteemed members, I am back on my feet, and I am wearing my ortopedic arm made of steel again, consider it symbolism. Its free btw, your money is worthless to me, if you choose to see life for what it is in the eyes of a true human being, then you on the other hand, are worth as much as I am... What I am worth is something I will leave up to your opinion, because sure as fuck if I dont consider myself better than people most already. Its time to push forward again, led by a fist of steel.

Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud…

what did the homeless man get for Christmas? nothing.

Justin Beiber sings. people don't listen.

A man walks into an insane asylum and says hello-The inmates assault him with mindless babble. A man walks into an insane asylum and says argblthenthrozaphowea-The inmates say hello.

Your momma is so old, it is likely that she will pass away in the near future, and I would recommend you to spend some quality time with her.

What did the baby say to the man? Babies can't talk ,the baby did not say anythingto the man!

why didn't Lebron James give me a fourth quarter?...he forgot his wallet at home and didn't have any spare change.

Your mom showed up at my house last night. I kindly greeted her and asked if I could help her with anything.

david give me my money back... i will have it next week

what cuts the grass on christmas eve and lives in mexico? JP I lied about Mexico jackin it in san diego

Q: What did the mute kid say to his mother ?

There are two kinds of people: Those who have a life, and those who read anti-jokes

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A.Because that's where it wanted to go.

What's worse then 2 dead monkeys? 3 dead monkeys!

Why did the chicken cross the road? How the hell should i know, i do not speak chicken.

Why was the cancer ward sad? They just lost a patient who couldn't ward off cancer.

2 doctors are talking to each other? -Dead? -Dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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