A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear? The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? I'm sleeping with your wife

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Fucked up quotes: "When walking trough hell, keep going!" (I just turn back and walk the other way thank you, I mean worst case I walk trough heaven right?" "Never give up, ever ever ever ever ever..." (Ill just end it with etc because I gave up something as hard as... Typing?) "Curiosity killed the cat" (Translated: "Curiosity kills, stay inside forever" What?)

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How many people does it take to screw a light bulb? One, it's all the sex they can get.

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people say thers saftey in numbers, try telling that to 6 million jews

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What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

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do you know whats worse than a bad joke on antijoke.com the holocaust.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Mine.

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Man walks into a hotel on Friday, Stays for three days and leaves on Friday. How is this possible? A. His horses name was Friday

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Why did the boy cut his hair? Because he was large.

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Which disney princess always stays old? Snow White

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A guy walks into a bar, and says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Roses are red, Grass is greener, When I think about you, I play with my weiner

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What's long, hard, and in my pants? The SAT's... I lied about it being in my pants.

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why did the person die? He was 90 years old and was sick. Its natural

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abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz

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if u read this u r bent A. Now your bent

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. The chicken was run over by a truck before he could get to the other side

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Why couldn't the white guy tell the two asians apart? They were identical twins.

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Man sees a hot girl. The hot girl sees him. The man asks her out on a date. After five years of dating he asks for her hand in marriage. She says "No way, I'm married you horror!!!" The man cries and moves in with his mom... Two days later he commits suicide.

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What do you call a gay man? Phil Krahn

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What did the pirate say when his parrot died? Nothing. He was upset and didn't really feel like talking.

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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