Q: When birds fly in a "V", why is one side always longer? A: There is one extra bird on that side

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God has lived since the eternal eternity right? And one day he said let there be light? NO WONDER HE IS SUCH A NEEDY GREEDY EVIL FUCK! HOW WOULD YOU FEEL AFTER AEONS ENDLESS IN TOTAL DARKNESS? Moral: It is time for the prince, to stand up as the emperor, then no one shall doubt the power of the moral man.

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Roses are red violets are purple what the hell happened to your ugly face

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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A hard-working man, in his early forties with slightly graying hair, arrives to work earlier every day. He values integrity and dedication. His loving wife is proud of his accomplishments and her favorite part of the day is when he arrives home from a day at the office. He is close friends with the Director of HR, because he believes that we all should be respected and treated fairly on the job. Today, there is a board meeting, which he prepared for extensively, because he cares deeply about what happens to this great company. His boss greets him after the meeting is done and says, "Great job, that presentation was even better than yours usually are." It was a very long meeting, so they both end up going to the Men's Room. What does he say when his boss corners him near the urinals and demands sex? Nothing. He doesn't like to talk during sex.

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There were two mufins in an oven. They did not say anything because muffins are incapable of speech.

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Why was the white girl crying? Because she was sad.

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Justin Beiber sings. people don't listen.

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What's more fun that being raped? Not being raped.

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Why did the gir fall off of the swing? She had no arms.

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It got hit by a rocket.

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my uncle used to tickle me.. he's in prison for child abuse

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what do you say to a black guy on steroids? B!tch please

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why are chickens dying so fast? because black people are hungry.

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why wasnt the baby cute? -because it was dead

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Jamie stegman liked doodle alot. Yummy he thought to himself as it entered his mouth.

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Why am I sad right now? Because I just Sh*t my pants.

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How do you make an elephant float? Who cares?

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What do you do if life gives you lemons? Whoa... where did these lemons come from?

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-Knock Knock ~Who's there? -It's your mother ~Go away

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An old man walks into a grocery store, but doesn't come out. What happened? A plane crashed into the grocery store, killing everyone inside.

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Hey Babies, The holocaust called, they want their screams back

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty one year olds? There's twenty of them.

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Two peanuts walked into a bar... One was a salted.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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