What's black and breaks your stove when falling from a tree? Your stove

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Teacher: "Kenny, what is the biggest mammal on land?" Kenny: "A stranded whale."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: Where was Moses when the lights went out. A: In the dark.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's black and white and red all over? Nothing, because if it's black and white, it can't be red.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

MRLSIXBWBSOVODKSHAIFKQJXIGJNRMWKSJDIVIVKEBWBEBKGKBODJWBEBJRRKFOBPBPDJWVECTNYLLNNIFUDJEBWKSOXOVOFJSBSBDKCKFKTKEBEJDLDOFIDKDJDHDBENSMSKSKSKSKSJDJDJSNRNTNTKDPQPWJSHCHCJDNEBBSJSKC

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red, violets are blue, whoever met you is a BIG fool

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I was walking down a railway line the other day... I was fined £1000

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red Violets are blue Call the cops girl They can't unrape you

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is hard, long, moist, and flesh colored? A hotdog you dirty, dirty bastard!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walks into a bar . . . he is tired and thirsty after a long day at work.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walks into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's funnier than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 1 dead baby in 10 trash cans.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was the man worried? because he had a shotgun up his ass

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red and so is venus now kneel down and suck my penis:)

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do black people and tables have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did one traffic light say to the other? Nothing, as traffic lights are incapable of thought as they are not living.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you kill a diabetic? Take away their insuline

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock, knock. Who is there? Child services, here to take your children. The following day, there is another knock at the door. Who is there? The police. The woman runs into the kitchen and kills herself.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

You just sunk my battleship! 5,000 people just perished at the bottom the ocean in a war for pointless political reasons.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What happens when you take a break from reality? Nothing, it's impossible, unless you live in a virtual world.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Your mum's so fat, she attends regular weight loss facilities to lose weight.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

XD Thats what I was expecting from you, you do not go down without a bit of struggle and a tussle huh?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops