Roses are red, Violets are blue, Today I'll wear a hat on my head Instead of a shoe.

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What did the cowboy say when he went into the car showroom in Germany? He commented on the models and designs, and asked to try a few out. Then he left, saying he would consider buying one but didn't want to commit too suddenly or too soon.

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You do realize that in my home dimension of earth, I am just lying in the sun, typing on the goddamn laptop right? I mean are you retarded OR SOMETHING? I AM THE GODDAMN MORAL MAN! Moral: Honestly though, If I where like running around shouting this, I... Would begin to get slightly worried...

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Your momma so poor, she has a hard time paying her bills.

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roses are red, violets are red, ive been shot in the eye with a pelet gun, please ,please help

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Why are leprechauns so happy? The grass tickles their balls

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How do you kill an elephant? -With a gun? No, an elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? -With an elephant gun? No, with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a blue elephant? -WIth a blue elephant gun? No, you choke it until it turns blue and kill it with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a purple elephant? Theres no such thing as a purple elephant, thus contradicting the reality of performing a major act of animal abuse on it.

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Why was Timmy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face

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what do a blonde and a brunette have in common? They were both red-heads until they walked into great clips.

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Why did the scarecrow get promoted? He was outstanding in his field

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Knock Knock........wait there cars gone, I'll come back later

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You bumder!

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Why didn't the cat eat its dinner? Because I nailed its head to the floor.

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Your momma so stupid, she speaks poorly and can't spell very well.

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A Stoner sees a bag of chips.

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What happens when you go swimming in the rain? You get wet.

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What is worse than a papercut? Losing your legs in Vietnam.

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Q: Why did the grandma forget to take her pills? A: She died in a tornado

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Your momma so stupid that it's really inspiring she managed to overcome her limitations and raise such a wonderful family.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He was butchered on the farm for chicken fingers.

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Why did the 3 legged dog fall over? Because it was knocked over by a passing pedestrian.

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Every human being has some kind of penis <3

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How many black people did it take to change the light bulb? I couldn't tell, the lights were out.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn the people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? cause he had mad-cow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican Cross the road? He was on His way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was walking to his car, racist....just kidding, he was on his way to rob a bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops