teacher: what is your name? student: some people call me attractive (mx)

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Why did the fungus leave the party? Truffle.

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Why was the little boys mom watching tv in the living room? Better question why is she out of the kitchen.

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What did the guy say when he came out of the closet? Where's my green shirt?

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So two Penn State administrators walk into a butt.

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked: "Why the long face?" The horse said: "My wife just died."

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Q: What's black and white and rape kids? A: Pandas, I lied about the rape.

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what did the McDonald's cashier say to the fat man ordering a large chocolate milkshake? you want some fries with that shake?

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What kind of shots does John take at night? Insulin, because he's a diabetic.

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A man is unemployed, ugly, short, fat, smelly and stupid. That's what she said.

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The snake rides the bicycle in the forest, the rabbit sees this, and says "hey snake, you don't have legs" "oh damn" replies the snake and eats the rabbit because of the insolence

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Q: What Did Batman Say To Robin Before He Got In The Car? A: Get In The Car

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What's green and smells like a dirty whore? A dirty whore

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A blonde and a brunette are walking down a street. What a great way to parade and recognise the various colours that lie upon ones head.

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Mam: Wanna hear a joke about my penis?... nevermind, it's to long. Woman: wanna hear a joke about my vagina?... nevermind, u wouldn't get it.

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A pirate walks into a doctors office with ship's wheel attached to his crotch. Pirate: "Arrrrrr, do ya accept Kaiser Permanente?" Doctor: "Yes, but there's a $20 co-pay."

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Why didn't the plane crash... because of the wight male piloting it

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A Frenchman, an Irishman, and a Russian walk into a bar. The Frenchman orders a glass of wine, the Irishman orders a whisky, and the Russian, who prefers to be sober, orders a glass of water. They have an all-around pleasant night, yet they leave the bar upset. Why? A severe water contamination in the town resulted in the Russian man consuming a fatal dose of arsenic.

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What's black and sits at the top of the stair case? Stephen hawking in a house fire.......

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What's big, red and delicious? A prune. I lied about it being big, red and delicious.

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Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither, many scientists believe that the first living organisms on Earth were single-celled, prokaryotic bacteria.

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What happens when a man goes to college? He gets a degree and graduates most of the time or he fails miserably.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was cooked with eleven herbs and spices.

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Q: if it takes a week to walk a fortnight how many pounds of oranges can you fit in a grapegruit. A: None, because there is no bones in ice cream

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops