- Anti Joke

Obama

Q: y does obama keep raising gas prices A: he dosent want anyone to be able to drive to the poles in november

Roses are red Violets are blue I am schizophrenic ...and so am I

Your mom is so poor She will soon have to make the difficult decision whether or not to put you up for adoption

A black man walks into a bar in Alabama, he then proceeds to have a couple of drinks and leaves.

If i knew people where coming i would have trimed my antlers

A man was going to take his girlfriend to prom, and decided to pick up his suit from the dry cleaners. Unfortunately, there was a long line. He then went to pick up some flowers for his date, but there was a long flower line. Finally, he takes his date to prom and decides to get some punch for them.He returns with the refreshing beverage and the couple has a wonderful time.

How do you make a little girl cry?

Boy: "But I don't wanna visit Grandma!" Mother: "Shut up and keep digging."

Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M Factory Because she repeatedly wrote Ws

Your mamas so fat, that any level of physical exercise is strenuous, but also mentally challenging, as she feels that there is a negative astigmatism attached to sweaty, red-faced overweight individuals trying to burn those pounds. This in turn makes her ashamed of the gastronomically decadent life she once lived, and so she doesn't have the confidence to try and reverse the damage she did during those insecure teenage years, instead comforting herself with the sugary, fatty bane of her life. She therefore lives in a vicious circle, angry at herself and the society that won't accept her. But remaining incredibly, repulsively fat.

What have you got there? Hitler's gas bill... Oh.. don't show him that, he'll be furious Whys that? He can't read.

Why was little Tommy scared? Because he'd just been abducted by a psychopathic rapist.

Once, there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end

Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it Biting into a baby and finding a worm in it

Bob: Your mama's so fat, she rolled over four quarters and made a dollar! Todd: YOur mama's so fat, here's a picture of her tied up in my basement. Todd wins the insult war.

Roses are blue Violets are buckets this poem makes no sense Washing machines

nothing drews nose is f**ing hilarious

Why did Jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms. Knock-knock Who's there? Not Jimmy

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why did the black man cross the road? to get away from the racists

Roses are red, violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's cheese on toast

Say the line below all very fast to get sudden strange sensation... Magic-ish. I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... ...BARKBARK BARK BARK BARK BARK! Done? Now sit Down, have a little treat Good boy/girl! :Look well at the sun, the jagged Blackness will consume all, Your little star forever but a ever fading memory.

What does a shortstop do when the ball is by third base? He leaves the field to go to the hospital, his little sister just had a heart attack.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops