hi im bob i ate a Pickle sucked a boob and died of a haert atak

Why did the gir fall off of the swing? She had no arms.

Why was Hellen Keller afraid to answer the phone? This situation is impossible because Hellen suffered from scarlet fever, therefore she could not see or hear the phone.

why did the man commit scuicide because he was depressed

A man was walking down the street in the pitch black dark and he looked into a pitch black dark window. What did he see? Pitch black dark people.

What do you get when you combine a cat and a dog? A Cog

A smart kid just answered a question in class, a blonde girl then says "Nerd, your always answering all the questions". The teacher then says "Hey thats not nice, he could be your boss one day." The smart kid quickly replies "Highly unlikely, i do not plan on being a pimp when i grow up".

What did the minority say to the white person? Aboobasashagaboogly. He was uneducated, along with the other minorities in the world.

What is worse than torture? Not much.

Two men are fighting in a boxing match. One gets punched in the crouch, cries, and goes home to watch "The Simpsons".

Why was the black man crying? His wife left him, took his children, and most of his possessions in the divorce.

that awkward moment when there is no candy in the van.....

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple-sized tumor in your colon.

I don't have friends, so I'm anti-social.

How to trick hundreds or religious people to drink cyanide? You establish a religious community in which you establish a ritual of drinking Kool-Aid once a day and one day switch the Kool-Aid with cyanide.

Why did the water in the lake disappear? There was a toilet at the bottom.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered 6 offender. And there was nothing funny about that.

How many people does it take to screw a light bulb? One, it's all the sex they can get.

Why was the cat in the bag? Because it's owner was abusive and put it in there.

Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

Two reporters walk into Tah rir Square. Both are abused and that's sad.

Why couldn't the little boy see? His eyes were closed.

A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, did you know you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate replies, "Arrrgh, there's been a horrible nautical accident. Please call an ambulance immediately."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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