Why did santa cross the road? He didn't he is not real.

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Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

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How do you kill a black man wearing a bullet proof turbin? Shoot him anywere other then his turbin.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he is concerned about his fitness and decided to walk to work instead of drive.

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Knock Knock! Who’s there? Alligator! I'm positively sure that Alligators are unable to talk, now please tell me who this is before I call the police.

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A brunette, redhead, and blond were on a road trip. Their car broke down in the middle of the desert. The redhead offered to get help down the road, but never returned. The blond and brunette walked the direction the redhead went, but died four days later of heat exhaustion.

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A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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The awkard moment when you realize you either have cancer, are pregnant, or a combination of the two.

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What did muscleman say to his dad? You know who else is my dad? MY MOM!

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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What song does a bulimic person sing while on the toilet? Nothing Bulimic people don't poop.

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The ten year old in my trunk

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What's purple and fuzzy? A piece of purple fuzz.

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89 bottles of beer on the wall, 89 bottles of beer, if one alcoholic passes the wall, 0 bottles of beer on the wall!

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Bob Saget

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Q: How do you count the population of Mexico? A: Take a census.

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The Dali Lama walks into a pizza parlor and asks the owner to make him one with everything. After 20 minutes or so the owner brings the Dali Lama a pizza with every available topping. After he finished eating the Dali Lama thanked the owner and left a nice tip.

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What's worse than a dead baby inside a microwave? A microwave inside a dead baby.

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What do you call someone that blows up a plane? Nothing you were on that plane

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Whats Brown and Sticky A) a stick

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Why was the student late for class? Because paraplegics can't drive.

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How many Jews can fit in a Volkswagen beetle? Four, although five is possible if you are not afraid of getting a ticket.

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What did the blind, deaf, retarded kid get for Christmas? Spoiled.

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A man walked into a bar. He bought a pint.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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