why was 6 afraid of 7 because 6 just found out 7 had genital herpes.

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Why did the black man sleep all day? He suffered from narcolepsy.

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Why does the Taliban forbid people from having sex standing up? It might lead to dancing. And then, of course, death.

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Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

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What do you call a lot of goose in one place? geese

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A Priest and a Rabbi find a very young lost child. They both agree that their religions obligate them to find the child shelter.

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Why did santa cross the road? He didn't he is not real.

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Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he is concerned about his fitness and decided to walk to work instead of drive.

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A brunette, redhead, and blond were on a road trip. Their car broke down in the middle of the desert. The redhead offered to get help down the road, but never returned. The blond and brunette walked the direction the redhead went, but died four days later of heat exhaustion.

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A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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Knock Knock! Who’s there? Alligator! I'm positively sure that Alligators are unable to talk, now please tell me who this is before I call the police.

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The awkard moment when you realize you either have cancer, are pregnant, or a combination of the two.

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What did muscleman say to his dad? You know who else is my dad? MY MOM!

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What song does a bulimic person sing while on the toilet? Nothing Bulimic people don't poop.

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The ten year old in my trunk

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89 bottles of beer on the wall, 89 bottles of beer, if one alcoholic passes the wall, 0 bottles of beer on the wall!

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What's purple and fuzzy? A piece of purple fuzz.

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What do you call someone that blows up a plane? Nothing you were on that plane

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Bob Saget

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Q: How do you count the population of Mexico? A: Take a census.

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The Dali Lama walks into a pizza parlor and asks the owner to make him one with everything. After 20 minutes or so the owner brings the Dali Lama a pizza with every available topping. After he finished eating the Dali Lama thanked the owner and left a nice tip.

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What's worse than a dead baby inside a microwave? A microwave inside a dead baby.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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