whats the worst kind of homework? child abuse

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? A tragic drowning victim. And later, food for sharks, probably.

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What do you call a black guy driving an airplane? A pilot

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Q: Why did the clown fall off the swing? A: Because he was shot in the face

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What did the the man, the dog, and the psychiatrist talk about? The man's childhood experience losing his pet as a contributer to his symptoms of psychosis.

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How Do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door put the elephant in and close the door. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door take the elephant out put the giraffe in and close the door. The lion king has a meeting with all the animals but one doesn't turn up, which one is it? The giraffe because it's still in the fridge.

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a light bulb??? I don't know don't ask me when I'm asking you the question!!!

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First the lord created light by shouti... ...Then the lord travelled back in time in order to create voice before that. The lord then said "I almost logic and everything failed at the very beginning. he corrected himself and saw it was good,

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What do you call a fly without wings? A rather unfortunate physical disability

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whats the same about a red crayon and a blue crayon? there both the same color except for the blue one

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Beans, beans the magical fruit. The more you smoke, the blacker your lungs get.

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whats worse than getting raped by ben rothlesburger well rape-victims claim that rape has ruined their lives and most of them go into deep depression and need therapy so maybe the only worse thing is getting raped again by kobe ---sticksack

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I'm sorry sally your grandmother is dead. LOL _ grandpa Laugh out loud!. I can't belive you. I thought it meant lots of love Grandpa-ha funny mistake though right?

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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Nero, you got followers, people that believe in you, ironically maybe a lot less now, that I have been giving them the fake illusion that I am you, why did you never reveal your true self? Is there something wrong with you physically? Something you fear being judged upon? I love and admire your work, and you to be honest, I know you are married and all, but my heart has chosen its path, it cant be helped really, believe me, I have tried. Dont lose hope in yourself, sometimes you have to accept that you are smarter, wiser, more compassionate and vulnerable than the rest, allowing yourself to be a vulnerable person, also shows how strong you are, if you shut it all away in order to become "strong", you know you end up alone and forgotten. I understand why someone such as you loses hope in humanity, but as long as you hold into the hope of you having the wisdom and courage required to stand on your own with pride rather than shame of your strength and individuality as a human being, something ever rarer I concur, then you have the right to consider yourself greater rather than some arrogant jackass, believe me, I know the man I am speaking about.

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One man calls emergency: - Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom! After five minutes, the same man calls back: - It is OK, I found another one.

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

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How much wood could a Woodchuck chuck if a Woodchuck could chuck wood? The etymology of the name woodchuck is unrelated to wood or chucking

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I love you Itachi Uchiha, please let me lick ice cream off of your body and oh crap you're an anime character and not real never mind

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Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete jumped out, who was left? Pete, the boat blew up and instantly killed repeat

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What's worse than finding your cat dead? Finding your cat dead because it choked on your goldfish.

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Have you seen Helen Keller's new car? Neither has Stevie Wonder.

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How do you get a clown to stop laughing? You throw an awe at it. Why did Sally fall off the swing? .....I missed the clown

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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