Actually it was me Josh brown

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A man walks into a bar and orders four shots. Before the bartender asks "If it really is that bad of a day". The man says "Yea I need this shit". The next day the bar is overwhelmed with police and investigators. The bartender had emptied a revolver in the tired business man's face and vanished.

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Roses are red violets are blue. Yes.

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What's green and fuzy and could kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table

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"George? I wanna tend da wabbits, George" - Lennie Smalls

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What time will the little girl get up for school? Never, she died in her sleep.

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What's funnier than an anti-joke? Sarcasm.

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Your legs are more open than my back door! Which is closed.

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A guy asks someone's name. The other guy answer that his name is Steeve.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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What do kittens and napkins have in common? You can sneeze into both of them except the kitten doesn't like it

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Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.

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An Irishman walks into a bar.....Duh.

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Why would a baby cry? Because it's being put through a juicer.

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What did the cat say to the human? Nothing

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What's similar about a black person and a white person? They're both black, apart from the white person

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Chuck Norris isn't afraid of the dark. Because he's a grown man, and most grown men aren't afraid of the dark.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I told him to. I'm very influential.

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What do you call a guy with no legs and no arms? Mat.

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once upon a time, a bird fell in love with a fish.. they both died.

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They say Jesus Christ walked on water and that humans are made up of 70% water...... So if I walk on babies, am I 70% Jesus?

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Why couldn't the infant read the book? Because he was blind.

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Where can I apply for janitor school?

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Human: Are you a frayed knot? Frayed knot: I'm afraid so.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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