whats short blonde and speaks spanish? my spanish teacher Mrs. Inman

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why was the man so good at holding stuff? he was born with 4 arms!

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Knock knock Who's there? Nobody Oh, ok

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What do u call Lindsay Lohan fall from grace? Probably likely tragic and is also a very useful metaphor for The USA's projected path for global and economic superiority.

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What is your bill about? Clinton

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What's grey and can't fly? A castle

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There is a blonde, Santa and Jesus. Someone throws a million dollars on the ground who picks it up? Me because I shot them

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teacher: who's going to pass english? students: us teacher: not you, i lied about the passing

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Why don't pineapples grow on pine trees? Because they're tropical.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar? Actually it's my cookie jar, and my cookies. I stole nothing.

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Light travels faster than sound, thats why people look smart until they talk.

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What is long, hard, and full of semen? An erected penis.

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The saying "When Pigs Fly" Can easily be canceled. Just tie a rocket and wings to it and let it go.

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RIDE A PONY, RIDE A PONY

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What is the definition of “making love”? Something a woman does while a guy is f-ing her.

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What do you call a black man driving a expensive sports car? A respectable member of society

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Why was the boy with no arms and legs crying? He had a lit match in his anus.

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mohammed ali walks into a bar, gets a drink, signs a few autographs , and a good time is enjoyed by all.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This font is black You smell like shit

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a blonde walks into a drycleaning store to get her clothes and on her way out the empoyee behind her says come again and then the blonde says shut up u nosy bitch its just toothpaste this time!!!

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Why is a cat in the desert like Christmas? Because Egypt is a country of deserts, the Egyptians had cats and Jesus, Mary and Joseph escaped to Egypt in the Christmas story before Herod carried out his massacre in Bethlehem on baby boys of under two years old.

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What do you call a deer with no eye? No eye deer ( get it, it's like the red, necked southern speaking states )

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drugs sex and alchohole are yumme as AIDS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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