If you have three ice-cream cones, and you give away two, how many do you have left? Why would you give away your ice-cream? Eating it is the better option.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q. Whats Red and yellow and has braces? A.Pierre-Louis

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Duncan walks into a bar and is greeted by his friends Eric and Tom. Duncan tells them that his wife left and took the kids. Duncan then goes home and hangs himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was Eight in court? He was involved in Nine's horrifying disappearance.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Who was at the door when Helen Keller answered? She doesn't know

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Who cured cancer? Not God. What do you think of the almighty now?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

thumb_up thumb_down -1

here kitty kitty

thumb_up thumb_down -1

here's a joke... the american education society

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what do you give a little girl with no arms no legs and who lives in a orfanidge for christmas?.................................... nothing because no parent wants a freak kid

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Your momma's so fat she has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

jim davidson , nick griffin , and bernard manning walk into a bar , and order a bitter, a lager, and a stout respectfully

thumb_up thumb_down -1

You know whats funny? Matty Broom.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q.who is Tiny, a lion and has no friends and is a bald eagle? A.Rory Johnston

thumb_up thumb_down -3

once upon a time jess was happy this once upon a time was a very long time ago, BABADOOK !

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Wanna hear a joke? Ruddell had sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what do you call a farm without animals a house with a big yard

thumb_up thumb_down -3

roses are red violets are blue hey fu i'm making stew out of my own poo

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do you help a black person find a job ? Tell them places that are hiring.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a man with no legs? A leg-less man.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Whats green and fuzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops