How do you make a plumber cry? Murder his family.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. Open up. We have a warrant for your arrest.

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Why did the shark attack the rock? Because it thought it was a human.

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A dog walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer The barman replies : Woof Woof

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What do you call a naked couple? Horny.

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Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: My friends told me not to. Teacher: So if your friends tell you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it? Student: Well, it all depends on if I land on a fat kid. Like Chubb. Chubb: Yeah, I know, my eating habit, i-i-its a big problem. -Payden R.

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Yup, I mean we use all of your techniques and all things considered the messages end up looking pretty much the same, as if the same person had written them, Azure is named Carlos, and well, he is pretty much a computer wiz so you have nothing to worry about.

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A friend? Just a friend that you told to stop pretending to be me? And you had no idea whatsoever that I am Nero as in not one of the six hundred thousand wabbabes?

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Yeah your point? Anyway, so then the brain surgeon goes: I have have cut into thousands of brains, and never seen a single thought.

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Did you hear about the young couple that confused K-Y jelly with window caulking? All their windows fell out.

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How did the chicken cross the road? Suicide. There was a graveyard across the street. RIP Mr. Chicken.

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Thats malarious! When something is so funny that... malaria

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A. Knock Knock B. There is noone home so the individual goes home

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Knock knock Who's there? The Gestapo. Get in the van.

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When you try to go to anti-joke.com but get redirected to Horsehead Network...

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why do black people like lotion? because everybody else does.

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Who ate my sandwich? The office appliance that fell from the sky.

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Why did the chicken cross the traffic filled road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? Chicken delivery.

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What's sad about the Holocaust? Lots of men, women, children were brutally murdered in horrible ways.

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-Whats this? -Anti-Jokes.. -Theyre not funny

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Q:your jetski loses a wheel. how many pancakes does it take to fix your house? A:blue berry icecream.

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I have two coins in my hand that add up to 30 cents, and one of them is not a nickel. I accidentally dropped them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops