a duck wanted grapes. he didnt get any

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Doctor Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains! Really? Well that's the least of your problems. Your test came up HIV positive.

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What happens when you forget your parachute as you jump out of a plane? You wake up.

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Hello.

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What do you call a person who is black? A black person.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

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Its about rewriting the laws of the universe and nothing less, yes yes theoretically the subconcious has unlimited potential (or at least potential we humans cannot theoretically comprehend nor define). But what if I can use my consciousness to trick my subconsciousness? What if I use the subconsciousness to trick the consciousness into tricking the subconciousness?

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Knock, Knock Come in

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whats big and white and falls from the sky\ Refrigerator

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Whats green? Mountain Dew.

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What burns like hell? Gonorrhea.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Knock Knock. Knock Knock Who? Knock Knock (:

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An American almost walks into a store when he sees a Jew. The Jew was also about to walk into the store, So the american opens the door for him and says"Jew first."

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a man walks into a bar, it hurt.

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What does a dyslexic person do on sundays? Goes to church to pray to Dog

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What's long and black The unemployment line

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting yours asshole clawed by a grizzly

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whats worse than a paper cut? 2012

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What goes up a hill with four legs and comes down the hill with five? A creepy animal that grows legs when it goes down hills.

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What do you call a snooker cue that only hits stripes? Anything you want, it can't hear you.

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Paddy Englishmen, Paddy Irishmen and Paddy Scotsman walk into a bar. They realise that they all share a common name and make a casual joke about it.

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Ding Dong! Who's the - - - wait - - - I don't have a doorbell.

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"Knock Knock" "Come in"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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