Yo momma so fat, the last time she saw 90210 was on the scale!

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why did the baby die ? he fell down the stairs

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Yeah, haha, I tend to put myself under a state of trance at the same time I put others down there, which makes it difficult to stop it sometimes, I do it for ethical reasons, I mean if I would ever hypnotize someone into feeling really bad, it would affect me as well. You might want to get some water on your face, you know, so your upper lips don't envy the lower ones.

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You're such a retard, you have to take special education, live with a mother that doesn't know what to do with you, not understand the real world, and have people look at you strangely for the rest of your life.

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Me and my wife set and watch the eleven o'clock news every night. My wife always thinks that she has the different disease that is mentioned each day. One night she was practically in tears telling me that she had the disease that was talked about that night. I looked at her and said "honey, there is no way that you have testicular cancer. You don't even have testiculars." The End

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how many baby's does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

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why did the mushroom go to the party? because he`s a fungi

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A deaf man walks into a bar. A few minutes later, cops come in and takes the poor man into the cop car and takes him downtown to the precinct for booking. Meanwhile, back in the bar the deaf man drinks his beer and converses with the bartender in sign language.

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why was osama bin laden shot and killed? because he was a very violent man and deserved his punishment

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-funny? women have rights -funnier? civil rights

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why did joe diragi cross the road there was food on the other side

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what did the duck say to the other duck Quack

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What did the ocean say the other ocean? Nothing, bodies of water are incapable of speech.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Set a firework off on her face.

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can you touch your toes? no

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What do you call an arab ?

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What's worse then finding 10 babies in 1 trashcan? Finding 1 baby in 10 trashcans.

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What gets you a succesful life and career? Swag

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THE GAME

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An old man walks into a movie theater, has a stroke, and dies as his family screams for help and attempts to revive him to no avail.

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If Chuck Norris was really so awesome he would come and slam my head into the keyboard.

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Q. What happened to the man that kept an open hand? A. He is in jail because he beat his family

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Chuck Norris." "Chuck Norris who?" "NOBODY SAYS 'CHUCK NORRIS WHO'!!!"

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A miserable man committed suicide.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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