What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Violets are blue Roses are red I stabbed you 37 times in the chest Now you're dead

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what's the difference between a black man and a bench? the bench is an inanimate object

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Do knock-knock jokes apply to homeless people?

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Why wasn't the tractor moving? Because the farmer was killed in a drive-by shooting.

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Q: Why was the little boy late for school? A: His face was stapled to a wall.

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Doctor: Why the long face? Elephant Man: That's not my face that's a tumor.

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whats similar between a chicken and an alligator they both gobble except for they alligator

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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Q: What's worse than not having a good relationship? A: Starving Africans

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What did the strawberry say to the strawberry? Nothing because strawberries are fruit and can't talk

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what's up? my penis.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a women.

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What's the capital of Ohio? O

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Joe Paterno walks into a police station.

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Why are Jewish men circumcised? Because it is the norm with that particular religious group to circumcise male infants shortly after birth.

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Three Jews get on a train to Stockholm. How many get off at Stockholm. None. The train went straight to Auschwitz.

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Why did the man cross the road? Because the light was red!

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why was 6 afraid of 7 because 6 just found out 7 had genital herpes.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, Everything is gray, I'm a dog.

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What do Richard and Judy have in common? Nothing.

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So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He actaully never did. He only made it half way before a cop issued him with an infringement notice for jaywalking.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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